Carnal Zen is my forum to explore all the ideas, contradictions, religions and credit card bills that pepper my life.
My dialogue is close to horrible. I love to read but could never write fiction. Plots feel too contrived, too forced. Yet, for as long as I can remember I have been writing scripts. Scripts for how my life would turn out, pages of text filled with expectations and storylines. Far too often I’ve attached [...]
The word came in last night. After 4 long months Mate is coming home. Seven days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes.
This morning I sprang from bed at daybreak. The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the house. Birds twittered noisily outside. I could not wipe the stupid grin off my [...]
I have arrived. That’s what the last year has been about for me. I am standing in the center of my life, reaping the consequences and rewards for my choices. The results are nothing to scoff at. I am happy.
So where do I go from here?
I’m not the trusting carefree sort. I think of serendipity as a [...]
I used to spend my Sundays in dread, knowing Monday meant complaining clients and long conference calls. It was a dissapointing way to spend the day of rest.
Last night, on the last eve of my vacation, I dreamt of work. My brain was not dreading the return, simply preparing, organizing thoughts and today I admit - [...]
It’s the unanswerable call of distress. I stand at the other side of it searching for something more comforting to say than ”I don’t know”. A dull ache comes with failure.
Catholics don’t practice sitting Shiv’ah (the Jewish tradition of seven days of family mourning after a funeral while visitors pay their respects). After the funeral, we stopped at the Italian bakery, my brother, [...]