Carnal Zen

~Finding the balance between earthly delight and spiritual enlightenment~

About

Carnal Zen is my forum to explore all the ideas, contradictions, religions and credit card bills that pepper my life.

I recently read that the original definition of “virgin”  was “a woman complete unto herself”.

Some days, most days really, I am strong, confident and seemingly complete.  Other days feel desperate and I want to wrap myself around peoples legs, refusing to let go and begging for reassurance.  I wish I could say I manage it gracefully, that I never pout , that I don’t have moments of self loathing…even though i know better.  Today is one of those days. 

What pulls me out of days like this are my people.  MY people don’t need scheduled plans to come over nor do I need their permission to forage in their refrigerator.  But I keep moving or they do.  Over and over I seperate myself from those brick and mortar people I need the most when life is the hardest…the people that complete me when I cannot complete myself. 

I may not be a virgin in either sense of the word.  Completeness for me comes from sharing myself with others - even when it hurts.

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