I bet you’re doing it too. Precariously balancing relationships, children and work, driving on bald tires, and stretching dollars as though they were made of spandex. We’re all juggling all of the time. Yesterday - the flood gates seemed to open and it was all just too much.
I remember wishing I did not live in this incessant heat. I wished for winter so that in my yard, perpetually at my disposal, would be firewood logs with an outstanding invitation to me to grunt, growl and chop my fears into kindling until my muscles ached.
As always it was too hot to run. Likelihood of tears ruled out my favorite treadmill at the gym. I seriously considered crawling beneath my desk. I wondered how long it would be till someone took notice and dreaded the “are you ok?” that would follow.
I got through the day battling back fits and starts of emotion, gnashing teeth. I marched head down through the front gate wary of smiling neighbors. I tried to cry, but I’d jammed it all too far down. Tears would not come. I cranked the stereo to obnoxious, yelled in angry tone deaf symphony and danced spastically around the house. Anything to get the energy out.
The cards are still standing. It’s hard not to react with fear. Watching CNN lately does not help. Everyone is scared that their lives are about to have the rug pulled out from under them. You already know that fear is energy wasted so turn up the dial, dance it out and don’t let the tomorrow worries steal today.
Dude…its the 20th. What am I supposed to read at work if you are not posting regularly?
Kristina
October 20th, 2008