Carnal Zen

At some point in our lives we are guaranteed to get screwed.  It’s part of the experience.  You grieve, you relearn trust, eventually you forgive and finally you move on.  Watching loved ones get hurt is infinitely more frustrating.

It is Groundhog Day.  You hear sniffles on the other end of the phone.  “It’s over” you hear for the millionth time as you pack a Cabernet and kleenex pack into your overnight bag and head over.  Conversations are analyzed, scenes scrutinized.  The term deal-breaker is used.  They may well pack their bags… but soon enough the fortress of anger cracks and then the whole thing goes around again, and again.  Details change, sometimes partners but the story is the same.

In the end your emotional investment wears you out. You tire of your powerlessness and grow resentful that your friend is holding on to an unhealthy relationship but the truth is you’re the one who needs to let go.  Letting go takes love.

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
   it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
   it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable,
   but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
   the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
   it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
   but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
   but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
   but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
   but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
   it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
   but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
   but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
   but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
   but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
   but to grow and live for the future ~ Author Unknown

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 28th, 2008 at 10:09 pm and is filed under Unconditional love. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.