Did you ever notice that alcoholics are still called alcoholics even if they’ve been sober for decades? Isn’t recovery supposed to be about liberating ourselves from an identity that was self destructive?
At some point in our lives everyone has used some un-healthy crux. Today, after listening to a friend’s negative self portrayal I thought about how our history can become self perpetuating. Schemata are cognitive tools that help our minds collect, retrieve and organize information deemed relevant to support the existing idea. Our minds will also resist information that is contradictory to our schema by omitting or forgetting anything that presents a conflict.
Self-schemas are cognitive generalizations about who we are and what we are capable of derived from past experience and it affects what we do.
· If we think we’re reliable we’ll try to always live up to that image.
· If we think we are sociable we are more likely to seek the company of others.
· If we think we’re attractive we’ll be more confident in our romantic dealings with the opposite sex.
· If we think we’re shy we are more likely to avoid social situations.
How many of us are even aware of what labels do we’re holding on to? Are we ready to start creating a new history? We say we want change but are we really ready to stop being caterpillars?
I just had an argument about the permanent “alcoholic in recovery” label a couple of nights ago. According to my friend, as alcohol makes permanent changes in brain chemistry, one can never not be an alcoholic again. My question would be “if you can change your brain chemistry one way, why can’t you change it back?” However, as the friend in question took the issue very personally, due to his father’s alcoholism, I let it drop. My own long term marijuana habit, on the other hand, might be a counter-example (though, of course, we’re talking about different substances). For years I kept away from it precisely because I craved it but, then, got to a point where I could smoke up once in a while without feeling an overwhelming urge for more. And now, I don’t want it at all. Hmmm…I wanted to say more about the general issue of self-schemas but, as this comment’s approaching the length of your post, fear I might be overstaying my welcome.
Great blog! I’ll be back!
YogaforCynics
August 17th, 2008
Really interesting post.
I thought about this for a day or so and realized that you are right for the most part. We can change our labels, for instance my being a “food addict” can change, whereas I make it my personal goal to develop new behavior. But there is one label I don’t think can change- that of a sex offender. Nothing and no one in this world can convince me that it’s “just a label” they can change.
Really thought provoking post.
thank you!
Suzy
Suzy
August 18th, 2008
Yes, yes and yes.
My ex was an addict and almost every night went to these meetings where he repeatedly got up in front of everyone and told all those people what a horrible, wretched, being he was and how many lives he ruined in the process.
Not too healthy for one’s self-esteem, in my opinion.
great post!
Bohemian mom
August 18th, 2008
Bo-Mom: I understand it at the beginning of recovery - to combat denial and help you take responsibility but eventually seems to be counter productive.
Suzy- I wonder whether sex offenders ever assume that label or if it’s just the one we put on them.
YogaC: All comment lengths are welcome anytime. Thanks for the visit!
Dawn
August 19th, 2008